


Breaking Free

by pherryt



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blackmail, Coming Out, F/F, First Kiss, Healing, Implied Beatings, Implied Frottage, Letters, M/M, Running Away, Secret Plans, Spying, a ton of secondary characters, angst with happy ending, cas and dean are the same age but not yet 18, conservative families, forced to hide, highschool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 23:14:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13375113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: Cas and Dean have been planning their escape from their families and the overly conservative christian community they've lived in for a very long time. One of the things that makes it bearable has been having each other to lean on. What makes it worse is they've both been hiding how they really feel about each other (even from each other) to keep things - and their plans - from getting complicated.Of course they slip up, they're found out, and things go to hell from there, making it all the more imperative they get out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally an angsty tumblr prompt that wound up getting expanded into several parts so i could give them a happy ending
> 
> Prompt: Dean lives with his brother Sam and his parents in a Christian conservative community . He wants to his last year of HS to go smoothly and the last thing he wants is to fall in love with a boy. Especially when the boy is his best friend Cas. After party he and Cas end up sleeping together but Cas distances himself from Dean and dates their friend Meg.
> 
> As for the christian stuff in here - no offense is meant. I was drawing on several of my own (though less drastic ) experiences of being raised in a born again christian family. i still believe in god, but not so much organized religion if that makes sense? At any rate, some of the attitudes of my own family still piss me off... though things have improved some over the years. I don't think they were very happy when i refused to give up my best friend after she came out. Not that they 'asked' me too, but they made it clear they didn't like her (all of a sudden) and that they thought there was something wrong with her (but they'd point at everything BUT the elephant in the room as their evidence) and maybe i shouldn't hang out with her so much? They were just concerned for me, y'know? 
> 
> They have finally come around (or are just resigned, i haven't decided which) to the fact that she's going nowhere.

Dean hated it here. The only thing that made it bearable was his best friend, Cas. Together they made plan after plan over the years, of just how to get out of there, refining it more and more the older they got.

Now they were in their senior year – almost old enough to strike out on their own legally, but neither Dean nor Cas held out much hope that they’d get out unscathed.

“Hair, Dean, hair!” Cas ranted one afternoon. He lay on his back with his feet propped against the wall of their old treehouse. It was really too small for them, but they squeezed in anyway, the only privacy they could find and trust these days. “How does  _hair_ lead to sin? So what if I want to grow it? Or…or…turn it blue? How does that lead me to hell? Is it really comparable to being a murderer? Seriously?”

Dean nodded absently. Cas was really preaching to the choir. Literally. Dean had been volunteered as a child to sing every Sunday in church. When he was small, he’d been proud to do it, happy that he could do something that made his mom so happy. Now Mary was gone, and no one would tell him what had happened to her and if he wanted to leave the church choir, he would risk the wrath of John Winchester falling upon his head.

It was better to let it go and not cause ripples or any type of suspicion to fall on him. Not when they were so close. Not when John already looked at him in disappointment, though for what, Dean had no idea (he suspected though, but he wouldn’t admit it to himself so he refused to think of it).

“Dad told Sammy not to associate with Max or Alicia yesterday.”

“You’re next door neighbors? Why not? They’re some of the nicest kids around!” Cas dropped his feet and twisted to sit upright, crossing his feet elegantly beneath him.

Dean tried not to watch, knowing he would only wind up staring at how fluidly his best friend moved. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.

He couldn’t afford to let the butterflies have their way.

For one, he had no idea how Cas would react if Dean acted upon them. The community in which they lived was so religiously conservative, there was no way to get a read on who – if anyone – would be accepting of such thoughts. And if Cas wasn’t okay with it, he’d lose his best friend. And for another thing, they were just  _so close_ to getting out, that even  _if_ Cas was okay with the things Dean tried not to feel for him, they couldn’t risk the plan.

Dean was counting on getting the Impala as his graduation present. Once it was his, free and clear…he’d pack up Cas and their meager savings and book it out of their so fast, their parents wouldn’t know what hit them.

He only felt guilty he couldn’t take Sam with them.

“Uh…because Max is giving Sam ‘ideas’. He told Sammy about…” Dean couldn’t help but look around and lower his voice, “ _Same sex couples_. Not only that, but people who changed their genders or, or, had relationships with 2 or more people  _at the same time!”_ Cas leaned in as Dean’s voice dropped even further.

“Wow…” Cas breathed. “People who just…change their genders?” His eyes grew wide. “How is that even possible?”

“I have no idea, man! It’s crazy, right?”

“I see why your dad freaked. You know how Pastor Zachariah says we’re all supposed to ‘be happy with the way god made us’.”

“Pastor Zachariah creeps me out,” Dean shuddered.

“Me too,” Cas agreed.

They froze as they both heard a noise below them and their eyes darted frantically over to the ladder, then the window. Dean edged towards the ladder while Cas shifted just enough to crane his head and look out the little window.

They waited a few, long minutes, afraid to talk, afraid to even breathe, but they heard nothing more and they didn’t see anything or anybody either. Finally, with a nod and a sense of relief, the two of them went back to talking.

“So, I heard Balthazar was throwing a party tomorrow night. Apparently, Uncle Zach’s gonna be outta town, so, he’s got run of the house. Wanna go?” Dean asked.

“Sure, as long as the pastor isn’t going to be there. You know how Balthazar’s is. He toes the line between what’s allowed and…how he hasn’t gotten into trouble yet, I don’t even know.” Cas shifted, keeping his eye on the window but letting himself get more comfortable.

Dean shrugged. “Must pay to be family to the Pastor. Means your above suspicion. Or if the rest of the town suspects, they’re afraid to tattle. He’s got a nasty temper. You should have seen how he ripped into Kevin last week because he came in too early. Kid was bawling…”

“No thanks. So, what’s Balthazar’s cover story?” Cas asked.

“Hmm…I think it was an all-night prayer meeting.” Everyone knew it wasn’t, except for the adults, somehow. It couldn’t possibly last but Cas and Dean and so many of the other kids needed some sort of relief valve from the pressures of their parents and their community.

“Meaning, we can crash there?”

“Yup,” Dean nodded with a grin.

Cas grinned back. “I’ll pack my sleeping bag.”

As predicted, neither Cas’s parents, nor Dean’s dad had any problem with the two of them running off to Balthazar’s ‘prayer meeting’. With barely contained excitement, Dean drove to Cas’s house to pick him up in the Impala and then the two of them drove across town to the more secluded estate of the Pastor. Balthazar was an orphan, and his uncle had taken him in to be raised alongside his own children. But tonight, it was only going to be housing Balthazar and the few people he’d trusted to invite to the type of party he’d been planning.

Not that Cas or Dean knew  _exactly_ what Balthazar was planning, but anything had to be better than being under the constant scrutiny of the whole town.

They weren’t wrong.

The music was loud, when they arrived, and the beat was so different than anything Dean had ever heard before. It made his body sing and want to move. The things church music was supposed to make him want to do. By the way Cas seemed to vibrate beside him, his best friend was feeling it too.

The party – for all its noise – was small, as Balthazar had promised. The three of them, Ash and Victor, Benny, Garth, Jesse and Gabriel, made up the entire party. 9 people all in all, and all of them boys because girls would never have been allowed to go to a house full of teenage boys with no adult supervision. What if they mingled and they fell to temptation?

Dean nearly snorted at that because he wasn’t even interested in – nope. Not going there.

“So, what’s the plan?” Dean asked, trying to force his brain to focus on something other than Cas, his blue eyes, his lips, his smile, his laugh, his _everything._ It wasn’t working. It was getting harder and harder for Dean to _not_ think about Cas, about his best friend. About how he wanted to share everything with him.

Balthazar held up a bottle proudly. “I raided Uncle Zach’s stash for some alcohol, and Gabriel snuck over some porn and we’ve got some killer tunes on. What do y’all want to do first?”

“I hate to be the one to point it out, but that’s a ginger ale bottle, Bathy.” Ash spoke up and the others breathed out in relief. They’d all been thinking it.

“Exactly!” Balthazar pointed at Ash and grinned. “Uncle Zach won’t miss it because he thinks I broke and spilled it. I have no idea what it is, but it’s as close in color to the ginger ale I could get so he wouldn’t get suspicious.”

“Clever,” Victor noted. The rest agreed.

“Great! Then I’ll be your bartender tonight. Gabriel! Get the porn ready! We’re gonna party in style!” Balthazar shouted, racing back for the kitchen.

The rest of the boys laughed, Dean and Cas exchanging bemused looks. Dean, at least, was a little nervous. Just _one_ of the things at this party could get them all in serious trouble, let alone all of these things combined. He wasn’t even sure how interested he was in the porn. Well, no, that wasn’t true. He _was_ interested, but he was sure it wouldn’t be the right kind.

Would it?

And if it were, he could already feel how uncomfortable he would be to be viewing it in a room full of other boys who didn’t _know_ that he didn’t actually like girls?

Balthazar returned and passed out plastic cups full of an amber liquid, just as the porn queued up. It was a VHS tape, and Dean wondered what kind of quality they’d even be graced with as Gabe paused it before it could actually start. Balthazar raised his cup in a mock toast and they all echoed him, the words of “To personal freedom” ringing in Dean’s head as they all knocked back their cups.

Half of them gasped and choked. Dean’s throat burned and beside him, Cas coughed. “What _is_ this stuff?”

“Told you, I’ve not idea, but it’s gotta be the good stuff, cause you know how Uncle Zach is. So, let’s not waste it!”

The porn was unpaused and the drinks flowed freely, and before Dean knew it, he was pressed against Cas’s side as they listened to their friends critiquing the porn. He looked over at Cas. “You uh…enjoying this?”

“Mmm…I’m enjoying the music. And the company,” he giggled.

“What about that?” Dean gestured at the porn and looked quickly away. He’d been right about the quality, but it was clear enough for him to see he was far more turned on by the man then the woman and he didn’t want anybody else to notice it. _Keep a low profile, remember? We’re gonna be outta here in just a few months…_

Cas shuddered. “No. I’d rather dance, but I don’t know how. I’ve never gone dancing.” Cas pouted and Dean stood, finishing off his drink in one last gulp.

“Me neither. Hey! Maybe we can figure it out together. I’m not really…interested in that either.” Dean said with a nod over to the tv. He reached down and pulled Cas to his feet. “I uh…don’t want to do it in here though. It’s too embarrassing,” Dean confided.

“Agreed,” Cas tugged at Dean’s hand, pulling him out of the living room and down the hall, checking doorways until they found the one Balthazar had put their bags in. The music was loud enough that they could hear it clearly in here and, drunk enough to be loose and giggly, the two of them started shifting about and bopping to the music.

Dean absolutely noticed that Cas was still holding his hand through it all.

What he couldn’t be sure of was when the dancing had changed. When they’d drifted closer, when their bodies began to move with each other. But soon they weren’t dancing -if it could have been called that. Instead they swayed into each other’s orbits, their eyes darting wildly over the others face. Deans green eyes flicked from Cas’s blue ones, to his lips, to the light scruffiness on his jaw and saw Cas doing the same.

Between one breath and the next, they swayed together and their lips touched.

It was all a hazy blur after that. That brief touch sent sparks through Dean’s body, the groan Cas made vibrated through him and the kiss deepened, the swaying stopped as arms reached out and clutched. The kiss was clumsy and wet – Dean had never dared kiss anyone before – but it felt like heaven.

He was pretty sure that was all Cas.

Pleasure built between them, gasping breaths and moans and rustling clothing. Skin on skin and Dean was on fire at the touch of a naked hardness against his own. He couldn’t think clearly any more and he didn’t want to. Together, they spiraled in a blur of motion and feeling, till it crested, leaving them panting and wet, clinging to each other.

Dean soared high, floating and humming as he slowly came down from his euphoria, the urge to curl up with his best friend very strong. Cas seemed to feel the same, as he guided them to lay down together on the bed, sleeping bags forgotten. Suddenly sleepy, Dean wrapped himself around Cas and fell asleep.

He woke up the next morning with a strange headache and a smile. He’d had a wonderful dream of him and Cas _together_ – so much more detailed and filled with so much more feeling than he’d ever dreamed before – but when he stretched, he realized it hadn’t been a dream. He shot up in the bed, his head swimming with the motion, realizing he was sticky and absolutely naked, with only a light blanket keeping his modesty.

And Cas was gone.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of angst in this chapter specifically

Dean wasn’t sure how he got home that morning. When he realized Cas was gone – not just from the room, but from the house – Dean had barely made it into the bathroom before he got sick.

Nobody gave him weird looks, though, all of them being in various states of disrepair, partially dressed and all hungover. He was pretty sure Garth was retching in one of the other bathrooms. Balthazar glanced that way and back again, muttering something about how Garth had only even had one cup when everyone else had had several.

And nobody knew where Cas was.

With a sinking feeling, Dean gathered up his things and left. He drove home, parked the Impala and jumped out, running across the street to his best friends’ house. Butterflies, different then the mostly pleasant ones he usually felt around Cas, danced around in his stomach as he knocked on the door.

Michael answered with narrowed eyes. “What do you want?”

“Just checking up on Cas, make sure we’re still hanging out later.”

“He’s not feeling well, so I highly doubt it.” Before Dean could say another word, the door was slammed in his face.

_Shit. Fuck._ What had he done? Dean stared in horror at the blank white door in front of him. No, no, no. Maybe Cas had a bad reaction to the alcohol. Like Garth had. Maybe that’s all it was.

But what if it wasn’t?

Dean turned and walked back to his house with heavy steps. He grabbed his bags out of the Impala and dragged himself back up to his room. When he got there, the bags dropped from nerveless fingers and he fell on his bed, curling in on himself. Tears had sprung up, searing hot against his skin.

“Dean? Are you okay?” Sammy’s concern cut through him like a knife and the sobs he’d barely been able to hold back tore free. He curled up tighter, trying to muffle the sound, hide his tears, bring himself comfort if he could only pretend the arms wrapped around himself weren’t his own.

He’d only feel better if they were Cas’s. If he knew he hadn’t just lost his best friend.

Sammy stayed with him while he cried, silent and just _there_. It wasn’t the same kind of comfort as having his mom, or the reassurance he needed if only Cas was there, but it helped all the same. It made him feel even guiltier for the fact that he planned to leave, and leave Sam behind.

But he couldn’t, in all conscience, take Sam with him – could he? He and Cas (or maybe just him, now. Who knew what was going to happen after last night?) didn’t even know where they would be going or how they’d manage. There only play was to get out of there. Dean had vague recollections of an Uncle Bobby in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It had made as good a destination as any and as Cas had nothing better to offer, that’s what they had settled on.

Besides…Cas and Dean might be able to make their escape at 18, but Sam wasn’t. They’d be chased for sure. Charged with kidnapping. It wasn’t as if Sam was mistreated here. It was just…stifling. He’d be okay without Dean. And Dean could always come back for him when Sam was 18. Just drive up in the Impala, open the doors and tell him to hop in.

Assuming he and Cas made it, of course.

Assuming Cas even planned to go with him, anymore.

Oh god…what if he didn’t? What if he wanted _nothing_ to do with Dean anymore? What if last night was all a drunken mistake? Dean didn’t regret it until Cas disappeared. What if Cas regretted it? Had he just fucked up the best thing that had ever happened to him? Had he thrown away everything he’d swore he wouldn’t risk? He’d tried so fucking hard not to act on these feelings for just these reasons, and now his worst fears were all coming true.

Dean stayed there the rest of the day, not having to feign too much when his dad came to check on him. For a wonder, his father didn’t even give him a hard time about it like he usually would have, only shooing Sam off for fear that he’d catch whatever Dean and the other boys had come down with.

How his dad wasn’t suspicious of _that_ was beyond him.

But once more, Dean wasn’t going to argue. He was too fucking miserable to move.

If he thought things would improve the next day, he’d thought wrong. He _did_ see Cas – as well as all the other kids that had been at that party – at church, but he was too far from Cas and the boy didn’t once look in Dean’s direction.

Dean’s heart shattered right there in the church. If he was miserable before, he was even more so now. Especially when he saw Meg sidle over to Cas and lay a hand on his arm possessively.

Dean felt like he was going to throw up.

Things didn’t improve in school either.

Cas didn’t wait for him to drive him to school like usual. He didn’t sit with Dean and their friends at lunch. He moved his seat away from Dean in the few classes they shared. He spared not one look at Dean, not one word. When Dean tried to get his attention, Cas would ignore him and turn away as if he hadn’t heard.

But Meg was with him every damn time Dean turned around.

It left him beyond sick.

It made him numb.

Cas wasn’t talking to him. His best friend for 10 years and Dean had ruined everything. The one person he could turn to about anything – well, almost anything. Dean hadn’t exactly told Cas about himself, now had he? Would all of this have been avoided if he had? Or would have simply lost Cas sooner?

A week passed like that, Dean going through the motions, his brain in a fog. His fathers sympathy had long since fled, and it seemed like he was going out of his way to give Dean more and more chores. Normally he’d complain that it was cutting into his time to do other things…but without Cas, what other things did he want to do.

Finally, Friday came around, officially making it a week since he’d last spoken to Cas.

Without even thinking about it, Dean made his way to Cas’s house. He didn’t knock on his door, but let himself into the backyard by the little gate and walked to the back of the property till he got to the tree house they spent so much time in together. He stared up at it with a lump in his throat and climbed up the ladder.

It was empty. Of course it was empty. Never mind that they’d always met here after school every Friday, no matter what else was happening. More often as school and family allowed. It just became clearer than ever that Cas hated Dean for what had happened between them.

For the second time that week, Dean curled up into a ball and cried his heart out, completely unaware that Cas was sitting at the base of the tree, stifling his own sobs.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas's POV

This was torture.

Seeing Dean day in and day out. Seeing him going through his days on auto pilot, no smiles or laughter brightening his day – his _or_ Cas’s.

Knowing it was his fault.

Even if it wasn’t his choice.

If Dean didn’t wind up hating him for this, Cas would be very surprised. He just wished he could talk to Dean, but he’d learned the hard way that the one place they thought was safe wasn’t.

Not when Michael had waltzed right into the room Dean and Cas had fallen asleep in, yanking Cas out of the bed. Promising that he’d tell _everyone_ what Dean was if Cas didn’t come quietly. Everyone had already passed out in various other rooms. It was still early and it was clear that whatever Michael had been expecting when he crashed the ‘prayer meeting that wasn’t’, it hadn’t been his little brother naked in bed with another man.

Michael had been livid.

Cas had never been more scared in his life.

The stony silence Cas had to endure on the drive home had been wrought with fear. The feelings he’d had for Dean had escaped that night despite his better judgement and this was entirely the reason why.

He couldn’t let anyone besides Michael find out what happened. He had to draw suspicion away if he wanted Dean to be able to make good his escape. Hopefully, Cas would still be able to join him. If Dean ever forgave him for this.

When they’d got home, Michael had sat him down and laid it all out.

How Cas would date Meg like a good Christian boy. Girls, Cas, _not_ boys! How he wasn’t allowed to talk with Dean anymore. No contact at all. If he did, Michael would tell everyone about Dean, leaving out only Cas’s identity as the boy Dean had slept with. Cas already knew things would go horribly for Dean if that happened.

He couldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t jeopardize the plan.

But watching Dean was killing him.

Watching Dean die a little more every time Meg touched Cas’s arm or leaned over to whisper in his ear made him want to hurl worse than having woken hungover did.

He hadn’t dared set foot inside the treehouse, knowing Michael had overheard them talking about the party there, knowing Michael – already suspicious of how close Cas and Dean were - had stooped so low as to spy on them. But he hadn’t been able to stop himself from going to it, staring at it. Wishing for the happier days when he and Dean were oblivious and carefree.

Of course, that meant he’d been there to hear Dean’s heart breaking and not be able to do a damn thing about it.

Not with Michael potentially watching their every move.

Dammit! He had to find a way to talk to Dean. To let him know what was going on! Michael had confiscated his phone – not a smartphone, of course, but a plain old flip phone with limited minutes. Normally used just to coordinate with Dean, but even that lifeline had been taken away. He couldn’t ask his friends to talk to Dean because they wouldn’t understand, or would demand to know what was going on, and the more people who _knew_ , the more at risk the both of them would be.

It was Meg, surprisingly, who came to the rescue.

She dropped down next to him in their somewhat secluded corner of the cafeteria, the lunch plate clattering on the table as she settled in carelessly.

“Hey Clarence,” she smirked.

“Hello Meg,” he sighed.

“So, you been pretty down in the dumps, lately.” She noted, inspecting her lunch.

Cas poked at his and huffed. “I’m fine.”

“Like hell, you are. Dean’s not faring much better. It’s kinda like watching Romeo and Juliet, actually. Two lovers, destined to be torn apart by family.”

Cas dropped his fork like it was on fire and it clattered to the table loudly. He looked at her, panicked, his mouth opening and closing as he frantically searched for something to say.

“Oh, calm your tits, Cas. I’m hardly one to talk. See that girl over there?” She nodded her head at a brunette across the cafeteria. Cas squinted at her, trying to place her. Ruby. Her name was Ruby. “I’m pretty much in the same boat. But see, here’s how I figure it,” she leaned forward. “This is where we can be of use to each other. I can’t talk to Ruby and you can’t talk to Dean. Right?”

He nodded, slowly, eyes still wide.

“Then why not the other way around?” she suggested quietly.

“I…what?”

She rolled her eyes. “Me, doofus. I’ll talk to Dean, assure him you haven’t left him by choice. That you love him – you do love him, don’t you?” He nodded at her frantically, then clamped down on it as he eyed the room warily. “Right, so I’ll let him know that you haven’t abandoned him and you can do the same for me. Sounds like a deal, right?”

Cas stared at her. It was quite a deal. Hell, it was _a great_ deal - if it was real. It sounded too good to be true. It could be Michael, setting him up, testing him to see if he’d disobey.

“Look, if you want, we don’t even have to talk to them, if you’re nervous about telling me stuff, or about talking to Ruby. We can just write it all down. I’ll slip it into his bag when he’s not looking, you do the same for me.” Meg looked at him earnestly as she talked. She had to know what was going through his mind.

His head whirled. It would be easier to write a note, but then…it also left evidence behind. Could he risk that? Maybe…if he were careful _what_ he wrote. But then…if he had to be so careful, what could he even say?

Still, Cas was bound to try.

He had to.

He looked across the cafeteria again. This time, not seeking out Ruby. Instead, his eyes fell upon the dirty blonde teenager he’d fallen in love with – he wasn’t even sure when.

Dean wasn’t even trying to look his way anymore. His head rested despondently on one hand while his other toyed with his food. His – their – friends were talking animatedly around Dean but Dean looked so downcast, so disillusioned that Cas couldn’t let it go on any longer if he had even the slightest chance to get Dean a message.

He turned back to Meg and nodded firmly.

“Okay, let’s do it.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dean’s apathy broke when he saw Meg touching his bag during class a few days later. He’d been called up by the teacher during a study period to ask if Dean was all right, and when he turned back around, she’d been kicking his bag  _back_ under his desk.

He glared at her, feeling instant fury for her touching his things. She’d stolen Cas away or was keeping him away, or…or…maybe he was just mad because  _she_ got to be with Cas now, and not Dean.

She even had the gall to wink at him and return to her text book like nothing happened. As if she didn’t represent everything that was wrong in his life right now.

He got back to his seat and went straight for his bag. He rummaged around to make sure nothing was missing – only to find nothing was. So why – wait, what was that?

He pulled out a small envelope with his name written on it in Cas’s messy handwriting, as familiar to him as his own. He swallowed, unsure how to feel.

Elated at the contact? Finally? Scared it would spell out just how much Cas hated him now? Insane curiosity to know what Cas had written surged through him, Meg forgotten, but he was reluctant to open it here.

He wasn’t sure how he would take any of it – good or not – and he didn’t want anyone around when he did. What if he broke down again? And he certainly did not want to chance getting the letter confiscated. Either to be tossed or worse- read aloud.

His leg bounced anxiously as he stared at the clock. As soon as class was over, he was gonna skip the rest of the school day. He was way too wound up now to be able to concentrate on any classes. There was no point in staying any longer.

The clock tick-tick-ticked away and finally, the bell rang. Dean was up in a flash, his bag on his shoulder and out the door faster than he’d moved in days. He pounded down the stairs, skidding on the landing and launching himself out the door, making it to the Impala in the blink of an eye.

Jittery, he got in and placed the bag firmly on the passenger side, forcing himself to drive home. He knew his dad wouldn’t be there at this time of day. It was the safest place he could think of to go.

He wasn’t sure if he would be welcome on Cas’s property anymore, so the tree house was out.

He also wasn’t sure he could take it if he went there again to find it empty.

Dean reached his room and firmly shut the door, dropping heavily on the bed, only then realizing how hard he was breathing. With trembling hands, he pulled the innocent looking envelope out and stared at it for a good long while before gathering the courage to open it.

He needed to know what Cas had to say.

_Dear Dean,_

_All I can say is I’m sorry._

_Know that I never have - and never will - regret the day I met you and the friendship and **all**  the things that followed._

_Did you know that arranged marriages are still a thing? I find myself looking forward to OUR graduation even more now, all the dreams **we**  had as children, for  **our**  futures, so close to fulfillment, I can almost taste it._

_It is interesting to note that Meg has her eyes set on a similar future as the ones you and I have dreamed of. I wonder if others feel the same? And how many? It makes me feel less alone in the universe to know there are others **like us**._

_Still, I miss the simpler times of our childhood, when we had no worries or fears. If only our treehouse could remain a sanctuary in this turbulent, transitioning period of our lives like it has in the past but alas, like all things, time moves on and things change._

_I suppose **we**  must look for  **new** sanctuaries to keep ourselves  **safe**  from the harshness of the world._

_Ever and always – your best friend ~~and more~~_

_Castiel_

Dean read it a dozen times trying to take it all in. The letter was written so strangely, and yet so uniquely Cas that he knew he was meant to read between the lines. But he was unsure if he could trust himself, his hopes pushing him to interpret it the way he _wanted_  to, and not the way it was meant.

But if he  _was_ reading this right, then it hadn’t been Cas’s choice to leave him. Nor his choice to ignore him or start hanging out with Meg as much.

It also meant that Cas was still desperately hoping to run away with Dean when the time came just like they had planned. The surge of hope he felt was unbelievably strong.

And lastly, it held a warning:  the treehouse wasn’t safe. But what did he mean by that? Safe for what? Dean bit his lip as he thought it through. They didn’t do anything before that night at Balthazar’s, so all they ever did in the treehouse was talk. Talk about running away. Talk about how much they hated creepy old Zach.

Dean’s eyes widened in realization as he thought back to that last day they’d hung out in the treehouse together. They’d both thought they heard something, only to dismiss it.

And talk  _that_ day had been about how a prayer meeting wasn’t really a prayer meeting.

Someone had been spying on them. Someone from Cas’s family, most likely. Then they came to the party to catch the kids lying only to find…then they must have seen…Dean nearly stopped breathing. He knew what they must have seen.

Shit…no wonder Cas wasn’t talking to him. He was probably forbidden to talk to Dean. Cas was probably lucky his family was giving him a second chance, a chance to prove that they didn’t need to ship him off to some conversion therapy shit.

Dean was shaking now, for an entirely different reason. Far from hating Dean, Cas was in serious trouble – and likely doing all he could to keep Dean from being in the same, else Dean would have heard  _something_ by now. No  _way_  his dad would have let something like this stand…not John Winchester. Dean was lucky  _he_ hadn’t been shipped off to some godforsaken conversion camp. It had been one of his worst fears for years now, ever since he’d realized how he felt for Cas. How wrong the rest of the community they lived in believed such feelings, such attractions to be.

It was the biggest reason he’d wanted out. He didn’t want anybody telling him who he could and couldn’t love. And now this had happened.

Cas must be terrified…and Dean couldn’t do anything about it.

He covered his face with shaking hands and tried to breath.

Keep his head down. That’s what he could do about it. He could follow Cas’s lead and do what he’d meant to do to begin with. Keep his damn head down till graduation. Lull the adults into a false sense of everything going right, and then…he could only hope Cas would be ready to go when Dean was.

That John transferred the title for the Impala to Dean as he promised.

But at least now they had a way to coordinate, as long as they were careful.

Dean may have started off by hating Meg, but now, he was pretty damn sure she was a godsend.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ellen Harvelle's POV

It was a little after 7 in the evening when the big black muscle car pulled into the lot for Ellen’s diner. It was old, dusty, but in good repair. The diner – which she’d named the Roadhouse – was fairly empty except for herself, her daughter, the cook and their only current customer - Sherriff Mills.

When they heard the rumble of the car, neither Ellen nor Jody could help looking up in curiosity. When they noticed the three young teens stepping out of the car a minute after it parked, Jody and Ellen exchanged glances.

“Out of state plates, old car, and kids that barely look old enough to drive…” Jody muttered. She pulled up her radio. “This is Jody, can you run a plate for me? No rush – KAZ 2Y5.”

The radio crackled an affirmative and she let it go just as the door opened and the boys wandered in, looking somewhat uncertain. The tallest one walked like he was in pain but he pointed at a booth and they all made their way there.

Jody finished her coffee and turned back to Ellen. “Want me to stay?”

Ellen snorted, wiping a rag along the counter. “It’s just a couple of kids, Jody. I think me an’ Jo can handle it. And if you’re really worried, Rufus is in the kitchen, and he’s just about as ornery as they come.”

Jody slapped the counter as she spun her stool to stand. “All right. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Just get outta here…” Ellen rolled her eyes, grabbing a few menus before stepping out from behind the counter. Jo was on break and anyway, Ellen was curious. She studied their body language while she approached. The two oldest were sitting close together on one side of the booth, while the other – had to be at least a few years younger than the first two – sat opposite them. They whispered furiously to each other, and when she got closer she could see the tallest, the one who’d walked as if he were in pain, had more than his fair share of cuts and bruises.

It made her blood boil. Somehow, looking at them, she didn’t think they were the kinds of kids that went around starting fights or causing trouble.

Which meant someone did that _to_ him, and she couldn’t think of an acceptable reason for that.

“Hello boys, what can I get ya?”

All three of them jumped, turning to look at her with a combination of scared and startled faces, and she noted the hurt teen grabbing for his friend’s hand under the table. He looked pale and she had a sudden thought that maybe she should call someone to have a look at him.

“Um…just…um…two cokes and a water?” He asked. Then he blinked and straightened up a little. “Oh, and…do you have a phone book?”

“A phone book?” Ellen was so surprised, she nearly blinked in return. “I’ll have to check. In the meantime, here are your menus. The specials are on the back, and I’ll be right back with your drinks, all right?”

They nodded and she turned away. She did indeed have a phone book. She found it just as her daughter came back from her break through the front door of the diner, Charlie trailing along with her. Jo stopped and turned, the girls holding hands and smiling. Charlie leaned in to kiss Jo on the cheek, waved at Ellen and darted back out.

All the while, Ellen noted the two oldest teens staring with wide eyes. She frowned and headed for the table with the drinks balanced on a tray in one hand, and the phone book in the other. She slapped the book down first, causing them to jump once more.

She glared down, trying to get their measure. “You got a problem with who my daughter dates? Cause if you do, y’all can waltz right back out that door.”

“N-no, no we don’t have a problem,” the dark-haired teen managed. Ellen let her face drop the glare and she placed their drinks on the table a lot gentler than she had the book. As she turned away, out of the corner of her eye, she saw how the hurt teen turned to the other, how the others arms drew the hurt one in against him. She just managed to catch a shaky sob from the hurt teen, and a few broken words between them.

“It’s normal here, Cas. We’re…we can be normal…”

“Shhh…Dean,” though calmer, Cas’s voice was nearly as shaky.

She heard no more as she walked out of earshot.

Ellen gave them a few extra minutes of privacy before going back to hear their orders. They’d barely glanced at the menu’s, though, too busy poring over the old phone book in growing frustration.

“I don’t get it, Dean. There’s no Singers listed in the book. You sure he lives here?” Cas asked quietly.

“I…I could have sworn he did…” Dean was flipping through the pages frantically, his fingers tracing the names. “Maybe he moved. I didn’t think of that. Shit, Cas, what do we do if I can’t find him?”

“You boys looking for Bobby?”

For the third time that day, the three of them jumped. This time she saw as Dean winced and his hand moved to clutch his side before shoving it back away before the others could see. He put on a brave face and asked. “Why - do you know him?”

“Should hope so – Bobby Singer’s my husband. And he ain’t got no kids, so why are you boys lookin’ for him?” Ellen pulled a chair over to the booth and sat at the table.

“Well…he’s my uncle. I think.”

“You think?” Ellen could feel her eyebrows shoot up into her hair.

“Look, we gotta find Bobby, please! I’m Dean Winchester, this is Cas, and that’s my brother Sam,” Dean said, a look of desperation flitting across his face.

“Oh lord,” she whispered. “You’re John and Mary’s boys…” Ellen was glad she was sitting down. “Your ma is going to be so happy to see you, you don’t even know. I think she might cry, just warnin’ ya.”

“Mom…Mom’s alive?” Dean whispered.

“You didn’t know?” she asked gently.

He shook his head and wiped at his eyes. “No. We woke up one day and she was just gone. I was maybe 8, Sam was 4 and no one would tell us what happened. We always thought she died and no one wanted to tell us cause we were just kids.”

“Well, your ma’s alive. Look, why don’t I make some calls, let Bobby and your ma know you’re here, and I’ll have Rufus make you boys some burgers while we wait. On the house. I think we all have a lot to talk about.” She stood and looked out at the car, a thought striking her. She looked back at the boys. “There ain’t anyone lookin’ for y’all, is there?”

The boys looked away nervously and back again. “Um…maybe?” said Dean. “We didn’t steal the car, if that’s what you’re thinking. It was Dad’s and he gave her to me for my graduation present. We’d have left a long time ago, but we were waiting for that.”

“Your dad didn’t know you were leaving?” she asked. Dean shook his head. She turned to Cas, whose blue eyes were regarding her solemnly. “What about _your_ folks?”

Cas shook his head, staring back at her defiantly. “But we’re both 18 and they can’t make us go back!”

“All right then,” she agreed. Her eyes darted to Sam, who was so very obviously not 18. “But if you boys all left without the knowledge of your folks, and you took Sam with you, I can’t help thinkin’ you might have landed yourself into some hot water.” The looked at her blankly. “You might’ve been charged with kidnapping.”

All three of them paled, but it was Sam who, for the first time, spoke up. “I’m not going back either! Not after what Dad did to Dean!”

Ellen sank slowly back down in the chair. “Oh honey, what did he do?” The bruises and cuts and the winces when he moved all took on a new light now that she _knew_ these kids hadn’t done anything to deserve it. And to know his father had done this, of all people. That his own father had beaten him…”How often did he…?”

Dean looked away. “It was…it was the first time, I swear. But I wasn’t sticking around any longer to give him more chances.”

“Well, I know it ain’t none o’ my business, but I know the sheriff ‘round here, and we need to report this, son.” He opened his mouth to protest and she held up her hand. “Look, I get it – big, tough guy like you, you probably just wanna tough it out, not cause any trouble, but see,” she stabbed the table. “If you can get this documented – getting yourself seen by a doc and reporting your dad’s abuse - you might have less trouble when it comes to getting Sam outta there, cause unlike you, he _is_ underage, and your ma had her rights to you boys taken away by that church a _long_ time ago.”

Dean looked at her uneasily but finally nodded his head.

The bell on the door of the diner dinged just then and they all looked up to see several people hurrying through the door. Ellen saw Jody coming in first, Bobby and Mary close behind her.

For a moment she was perplexed – until she remembered that Jody had run the plates for the car Dean was driving and if it had come up under his name or even his fathers…well, Jody was sheriff for a reason. She would have very easily put two and two together and wouldn’t have even hesitated to call the house on her way back here.

And Bobby had probably insisted on driving poor Mary who looked about ready to cry.

Mary ran forward and Bobby hung back with Jody. Ellen stood to give Mary room for her reunion and joined her husband and their friend as they watched.

There were tears all around and Mary didn’t hesitate to hug any of them – even the boy who was obviously not her own – though Ellen would lay bets that that wouldn’t remain true for very long. Jody talked softly as they watched, Ellen filling them both in on what she’d learned. They’d learn the rest in time.

Time, in fact, proved that Ellen’s suspicions about the kidnapping charge were right, but Dean did talk to Jody, however reluctantly, telling her what had happened. And why. They managed to get him to the hospital where they’d all been horrified to learn he’d been driving around with a cracked rib. She thought the blue-eyed boy, Cas, was going to break down in tears right there as he mumbled about how it was all his fault.

But it was all the proof they needed. John was brought up on his own charges and when he lost, all his rights to his children reverted to their mother. Where they should have been from the start.

And that should have been that. Family reunited and happily ever after.

But it wasn’t as quick as all that.

Even before the physical damage healed, it was obvious fairly quickly that _all_ the boys had emotional and mental damage to recover from as well, though none near as much as Cas and Dean did.

There were certainly some trust issues at work there, which was painful enough, but what really broke every one of their hearts was how long it took for Dean and Cas to be as open as Jo and Charlie were. For months, Ellen could feel each hesitation, each fearful glance around them as if were a stab to her own person, and she wasn’t the only one who’s heart bled for the boys.

But eventually, with patience and love and with a literal living example of the fact that it was _okay_ to love each other living right with them, Dean and Cas began to relax, their smiles coming more frequently, their touches growing unafraid.

The first time Cas and Dean fell asleep on the couch together after a movie, Cas’s nose buried in Dean’s neck, their legs and arms intertwined, and were awoken the next morning where their only reaction was to laugh and stretch, all while kissing each other good morning - well, it felt like a goddamn victory.


	6. Epilogue

Years down the road, after recovery, after college, Cas and Dean were still very much in love.

So it was to nobody’s surprise the day he got down on one knee and proposed to Cas. Or that Cas accepted. He’d done it at the diner, the place which had become a symbol of the start of a whole new life. It had felt fitting therefore, to do the proposal there, since wanted to start the next chapter of his life with Cas permanently by his side.

The cheers were deafening, though the Roadhouse had only held his closest friends and family. His mother and brother, Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen, Jo and Charlie, Jody and Donna, Rufus, Missouri and – he still couldn’t believe it sometimes – a bunch of his and Cas’s old friends from high school.

Meg and Ruby sat together, cuddled in comfortably at the back of one of the booths, content to – surprisingly – stay in the background, their normally loud personalities softened around each other in a way neither Cas nor Dean could ever have predicted. Jesse was there with his new boyfriend, Caesar. Ash, Victor, Benny, Garth and Gabriel had also defected.

It was, in fact, every single one of the boys from that fateful party.

Neither Dean nor Cas knew what to make of that, or what all their reasons for leaving were – Garth was straight as an arrow and cheerful as a new born puppy who never found fault in anyone - and they didn’t pry. But after Meg and Ruby, they’d all been the first to leap at the chance to get out of their little community as soon as they got it.

And others had followed.

Some adults left their spouses – with and without kids - using the resources created by Sherriff Mills and her partner Donna, and no little help from the rest of their merry crew, to get out and resettle. Kids also sought out their help, though Dean and Cas couldn’t figure out how the word had gotten out. In the end, it didn’t matter how, only that it did.

Most got out unscathed – physically anyway. They all had some sort of issues after suffering years of bigoted sermons and verbal abuses all across the mental and emotional. Only a handful – which was still far too many - had been physically harmed. Anna Milton would have scars along her back for the rest of her life from the beating she’d received from her brothers. Claire Novak had burns on her arms that she still kept covered with long sleeved shirts and refused to talk about. She was thinking of covering them up with tattoos and had started talks with resident tattooist, Pamela Barnes. Mick Davies walked with a limp after a particularly nasty fight with his father.

But they’d gotten out, and they were here now. And Dean and Cas had made it a point to befriend them all, even if they’d never talked before.

After the wedding, Dean and Cas were content to stay in the town they’d come to call home. It had taken a while for them to find their callings, now that they were free to explore themselves in a way they just hadn’t felt safe to at home. Dean apprenticed at the tattoo shop with Pam, while Cas decided he wanted to work with animals. A year before they’d married, they’d felt comfortable enough to get their own little place and hadn’t looked back. A two-bedroom apartment above a bookstore on Main Sreet, an easy walk to both their places of employment. Cas kept two guinea pigs, a ferret and it was _Dean_ , of all people – despite his allergies – who brought home the little black kitten.

He got all defensive, rubbing at the back of his neck and blushing as he sat on the floor, the kitten crawling about unsteadily in the nook he’d created with his legs. “Well, y’know, it was raining and the poor thing was all alone and cold and hungry and I mean, I already take allergy meds because you bring the fur home with you. No skin off my nose, right?”

Cas grinned sappily at Dean and kissed him breathlessly. “Right. Of course, Dean. Whatever you say. There was obviously no other choice than to bring the kitten home.”

They were so happy, it was like their life before then had been from another world, another time.

So, seeing Michael striding down the street towards them as they walked together hand in hand was a definite shock.

Cas froze first, Dean dragging to a halt. He turned to his husband in concern, running a hand over his cheek. “Babe? Are you okay?”

A hand passed into his filed of vision, clamping down on Cas’s arm, a voice growled. “Castiel! So _this_ is where you’ve been? Living in sin with…this…” Michael glanced at Dean and sneered.

“What’s it to you, Michael?” Cas spat out at his brother, yanking his arm out of Michaels grasp. Dean drew Cas back and away from the other man and glowered at him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Dean demanded.

“I’m here because my car broke down. I was feeling highly inconvenienced, but I know now that God meant for me to find you. It’s time to let go of this farce and come home with me, Castiel,” Michael sniffed, ignoring Dean and talking only to Cas.

“Yeah, no. I don’t think so, Michael. I’m not going back to that hellhole. I’m happy here. I have friends who don’t judge me, I have family who doesn’t blackmail me or threaten those I care for, a job I love, a church that preaches acceptance and love _and,_ most importantly,” Cas held up Dean and his combined hands. The ring that sat on his hand glinted in the light and Michael’s face paled. “I married the love of my life.”

Michael spluttered. “Castiel! You can’t be serious! This is a sin! A sham! No proper church would ever allow such disgusting, immoral behavior. Winchester has corrupted you! Get away from -” He grabbed for Cas again and Dean growled. A hand came down on Michaels shoulder and he shrugged it off angrily, rounding on the person behind him with a fist ready to fly and his mouth open – ready to deliver more vitriol or a sermon or something. Cas didn’t know and didn’t care. With Michael, either was likely.

Cas couldn’t help the smirk, and saw it echoed by Dean, when Michael turned to see who’d dared touch him. Sheriff Jody Mills stood behind him with her hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised, a no nonsense expression on her face.

“Boy, you ain’t welcome here. As soon as your car is ready, you best be leaving town, if you know what’s good for ya,” she said through gritted teeth.

“You can’t – do you know who I  - “

Jody ignored him, speaking over Michaels words. “If you don’t, I can have you arrested for assault and harassment. It’s obvious neither of them want to talk to you, and you laid your hands on his person – not once, but _twice_ without his permission. So do yourself a favor, and forget they and this town exist and scram.”

Michael turned on his heels and left, his hands clenched into fists. Cas could only imagine the scowl currently embodying Michaels face, as people got out of his way and made it a point _not_ to touch _him,_ as if he carried a disease that was contagious.

“Cas, sweetie, are you all right?” Jody asked in a calmer, softer voice.

“Yeah, yeah I am,” Cas said in some surprise, Dean’s arm wrapping around him comfortably. “I really am.” He turned to look up at Dean and gave his husband a blinding smile. Dean returned it, his mouth quirking up slightly on one side as he looked at the happy crinkles around Cas’s eyes.

“Yeah, me too,” Dean breathed out, before he dove in for a brief kiss. “I love ya, Cas.”

“I love you too, Dean. Let’s go home,” Cas whispered.

Dean nodded in agreement. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking of taking some of the earlier tumblr ficlet sets and breaking them down into something more organized. that would mean deleting some chapters to put up as new stories etc, etc. would anybody be terribly upset if i did that? it's really been bothering me. 
> 
> please let me know?


End file.
